Fightin' The Holidays...



Its that time of the year again: Pilgrims, Santa Clause, Menorahs, and Mass Suicides. This year I'm thankful for the unseasonable warm Chicago weather, the Chicken Noodle Soup song, and Emmitt Smith winning Dancing with the Stars... which are all possible signs that the Apocalypse is well at hand!

Be sure to stalk up on Spam and Bottled Water... worst New Years ever!

Sorry for no post last week, I was too busy filling the food bag with alcohol and various meats! Here's a picture of young Ava dominating a worth adversary:


You have to train them young or they'll never manage to live up to your expectations! Good job Avz soon your gullet will be as big as mine.

Asian Heroes

Before Hiro Nakamura and Mohinder Suresh were sperm and egg, there existed a legendary man... his name was Chang Apana!


Chang didn't have super powers or wear an elaborate costume; to vanquish his foes all he needed was his police badge, a bull whip, and a cigar. An amalgam of Indiana Jones and Nick Fury, Chang battled crime on the mean streets of Honolulu...

Okay, okay I know its not as terrible as Brooklyn, Cabrini Green, or Compton. Probably drive by shootings there were the locals getting into banana fights or something... but in 1916 Chang was bitch slappin' opium-smuggling and illegal gambling!

With his gaggle of informants and forward detective style, Chang was a one man S.H.I.E.L.D. And like Batman under the suit, he had has own collection of scars from his numerous battles with rouges! Chang's reputation made him famous. It would also give birth to a fictional Asian Hero, Charlie Chan.


American novelist Earl Derr Biggers was inspired by Chang, so inspired that he created six novels featuring this Chinese-Hawaiian detective, Charlie Chan.


Much like the popularity of Fu Manchu Charlie Chan would transcend onto the Silver Screen. And like Manchu, Charlie was not portrayed by Asian or Asian American actors. However, the movies did feature Japanese and Chinese American actors co-starring as Charlie's family.


It would not be until the 1970s when Hanna-Barbera created the show The Amazing Chan and the Chan Clan that an Asian American would be able to play as Chan.

Charlie Chan also had his share of clones...



Above Peter Lorre gives his best impression of what Japanese gumshoe should look like. And what's this... check out good ol' Boris Karloff try to redeem himself by playing a Chinese American crime fighter!

Again, folks the harsh realities of the Chan, Moto, and Wong movies were the stereotypical portrayal of Asian and Asian Americans. Again, if you don't believe me go ahead and rent these classics and count how many times you can hear a bad accent or see some big ol' ugly buckteeth.

Till We Meet Again

So today we got to meet Chang Apana and his fictional counterpart Carlie Chan and your probably wondering to yourself how do comic books mix into this? Well ladies and gentlemen prepare yourself for next week, because I will be introducing to you one of my favorite Asian American comic book heroes...

Jimmy Woo



*Side Notes
For more information on Charlie Chan, check out Giant Robot magazine issue 36: Iconoclash

Please give a moment of silence for comic book artist Dave Cockrum. His imagination gave birth to the X-Men characters Storm, Colossus, and Nightcrawler.



Got a moment to spare, then please place a comment if you dare... gotta stop with the rhyming

Watchin' the Tube...



Spent the weekend hanging with the kids, No these human larvas aren't mine! They belong to my sister, although on several occassions I have offered her 3 magic beans for these precious darlings. But, she's a tough sell...

Looks like I'll have to trade in my imaginary friends for imaginary children, *sigh*! Okay enough of my sad life, let me go slip into something nice and we'll go dicuss some more comic book stuff.

The Spawn of Fu Manchu

Last week we talked about this colorful genttleman Doc Fu Manchu



Lets recap for thoes who missed out or can't scroll down to the last entry! Dr. Fu Manchu was made popular by the stories of Sax Rohmer. His signature charater was inspired by the monsturous depiction of Asians during the Yellow Peril movement. Doc Manchu became so popular that his presence was made real by the magic of the movies. Thus making him immortal and haunting Asians and Asian Americans for generations to come...

Wait! what do you mean he's immortal!

Some clever a'hole once said that "Imitation is the best form of flattery." What they forgot to mention is that it pays to copy something popular. We've seen it all before folks: Folex Watches, Neentendo PsP's, Bulls 3-peat t-shirts, ect. If we like something we can't get enough of it and there is this constant desire to have more. So ladies and gents get a load of this DC comic original:


In March of 1937, one of America's largest comic book companies, DC, published this issue of Dective Comics #1. The majoirty of villians in this issue are Asians and share Fu Manchu's physical apperance: yellow skin, slanted eyes, and long wisker mustaches. DC wasn't making a lot of money at the time and this issue really help them raise some funds. Detective comics did become popular and later it would transition into the birth of Bat Man...


However, the character of Fu Manchu wasn't only a money maker. The character gave life to other popular villians:



Who can forget Iron Man's arch nemesis The Mandarin, fully equiped with 10 rings of power and arance scientific genius. I think the robe and beard are a dead give away for this Manchu clone.

And let me ask you this... what kind of name is The Mandarin? I mean why not call him Super Evil Chinamen or Slant-Eyed the Terrible!?

*Side Note: Super Evil over here wasn't Iron Man's first Asian villian, in the weeks to come we'll get and indepth look at Iron Man's origins

Another Manchu Clone was the Flash Gordon villian Ming the Merciless. As you can see in the picture to the right, Ming here was sporting the Manchu facial hair and eyes, but with new and improved Satan Eyebrows.




And lets not forget these atrocious foes:




Johnny Quest's Dr. Zin







James Bond's Dr. Julius No







Marvel's Yellow Claw
*Side Note: Next week we'll be talking about this guy in more detail!




Bottom line here folks is that the notorious Doc Manchu cannot be defeated so easily... or can he? Next week we'll be discussing something you've all been waiting for...

Asian Heroes!





Don't agree with what I say... FINE go ahead and write me a comment! BENHUR SMASH!

The Lord Giveth and the Lord Taketh away...



The scenes above are from the fat bank known as the Old Country Buffet, the Roommates and Dem Southside Boys combined forces to lay waste on all that was edible! After a couple of visits to the chamber of the Porcelain Kingdom and the song Up Where Belong being our battle cry, my companions and I picked clean each serving tray like locust to a corn field. There were no survivors...

Fatal Facial Hair




Okay one these guys isn't like the others, can you guess? Well lets look at their similarities: Mustache, Mustache, Mustache. That's right these gentlemen have push brooms on their faces, however two of these men are Villians. I'll let you figure it out...

What I really want to push here folks is the whole idea of the infamous Stache. You see the easiest way to distinguish a bad guy from a good guy, is that one has to have a mustache! Because, the facial hair makes a man look rough around the edges. Don't get me wrong I'm not hating on men who sport mustaches, beards, or goatees. I mean I am a big fan of the Tom Selleck!

But its common for people to point the blame on a mustachioed man.
And people have used that image to give their villians more appeal or that extra something to give off that evil aura!

The writer known as Sax Rohmer is famous for using this charateristic to describe his most villainous creation. You see folks this man created the Fu Manchu.


Rohmer's inspiration for the character goes back to the days of Yellow Peril . You see he wanted to create... hmmm better if I just let you read what he wanted:

Imagine a person, tall, lean and feline, high-shouldered, with a brow like Shakespeare and a face like Satan a close-shaven skull, and long, magnetic eyes of the true cat-green. Invest him with all the cruel cunning of an entire Eastern race, accumulated in one giant intellect, with all the resouces of science past and present... Imagine that awful being, and you have a mental picture of Dr. Fu-Manchu, the yellow peril incarnate in one man- The Insidious Dr. Fu Manchu

Fu Manchu became the central villian of Rohmer's novels and in turn the character made him famous. Manchu became a popular character and an icon of evil, it wasn't long before people gave him a physical image.

Boris Karloff is best known for his portrayal as the Monster in the classic 1931 movie Frankenstien . He is also remembered giving the best rendition of Manchu.




Now keep in mind folks that Mr. Karloff was not Asian, but according to Hollywood he was the best man to play the role of an Asian villian. Now can you imagine how he would go about portraying this chracater, he's going to use every Asian stereotype in the book.

If you don't know something, you're probably going to make it up!

So Karloff would prance around the silver screen, using makeup to slant his eyes and recite each of his lines in the most horrendous accent. In fact, Karloff would often ask that his makeup artists to give him a longer mustache in order to convey a more menacing appearence. If you don't believe me folks, go to the ol' Blockbuster or Netflix and rent The Mask of Fu Manchu. If you watch carefully Karloff wasn't the only one making a mockery of Asians. But, don't get too angry everybody... keep in mind that back then people like myself weren't around to point out this crap! I could go on forever on how Hollywood treats Asian characters, but lets keep the focus on Dr. Manchu. You see the Doctor became soo popular that it wasn't long before people began to make clones of him...

And like that we will have to wait next week, when we will be...

Attacked by The Manchu Clones!



Like the Green Lantern's light, please test my might by posting a comment to support or argue what is right.... Okay I'll stop rhyming!

Gravy Baby!



Thank you Bob Evans for decreasing my life span! Yes, everyone I ate a bowl of gravy over the weekend and to be honest I'm sorta proud of it! I mean come on, only Lumber Jacks, Wolverine, and Robert Atkins could get away with eating such savory garabage!

I just remembered that when I took my first bite I sware I could hear my father's voice whisper in my ear,

"Today you are a man my son!"

And with that a small salty tear dropped from my eye and my heart begged The Almighty for a new body.

Seriously Folks...

Last week we took a look at the Golden Age of comic books and the character Wing. A good question comes up:

"Why does Wing look the way he does?"

Well we have to go back in time again, so if you be so kind to turn on the Way Back Machine:

Yellow Peril



The picture above is from the late 19th century, you see back then Westerners weren't too welcoming to Asians. In fact during this time nobody was welcomed, remember the movie Gangs of New York? People were worried that Asians would come on over and slowly take over the world, but mostly they worried that Asians would take over their jobs...

heard that one before *wink* *wink*

This fear and worry begot hate and many people decided that it was a good idea to portray immigrants as being less human and villainous. Thus Asians were transformed into these yellow skinned creatures with slanty eyes and big ugly teeth... I ask you do I look like this guy:




Okay okay, I will admit he has more charm! Keep this in mind folks because next week we'll be discussing this gentleman...



Until then, folks go finish off the last of the Ween candy but save some for Easter!


Please feel free to leave a comment, because you can save a cheerleader...